"No, But, and However"
Restrictive language like the words 'no, but and however' have been a major part of my vocabulary for years. Recently, I watched a great video from one of my heros - Dr. Marshall Goldsmith where he discusses the limiting and negative nature of these words.
Check out his website at: marshallgoldsmith.com.
In the video he explains how these words tend to kill conversations and stifle creativity. What I learned from this is that when you don't use these words, it forces you into new ways of thinking through solutions, it creates new pathways of possibilities. Starting your sentence or ideas with 'no, but, however' automatically diminishes the value of the idea it was directed toward. If you are using those words with a family member you are sending a dismissive message. In the workplace, these words can be particularly deflating to those you are trying to inspire.
Do what Marshall does - every time you use these limiting words, fine yourself a dollar, after a week send the money to your favorite charity. After a while, you'll create awareness on just how your words, even before you use them, has already started to help or hinder the ideas you want to put into action.
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Scott Howard is a professional executive coach and leadership coach focusing on human empowerment and maximizing potential.